Everything that remained fit into 5 suitcases (for two people), 2 book bags and 2 cat carriers. Yes, I took my cats to Korea! For nearly the next two years I lived in a tiny one room apartment, sharing it with an ex and the cats. My closet was about 15 inches wide, but very tall. And there were some drawers under the bed. We stowed the collapsable suitcases away and enjoyed all the space.
I LOVED that tiny apartment. It was so easy to clean, it never felt cluttered. There was so much space. I didn't have a storage unit in the basement overflowing with crap I never used... Everything I owned was precious or useful. (It was really easy to live with out and forget about all of the stuff I left in my aunts attic.)
When I returned to The States I lived in a room in my parent's house for about 2 years. So all of my stuff stayed in storage and I was able to continue my minimal lifestyle (though my bedroom was always pretty messy... it was generally just a lot of clothes on the floor.)
Now my fiancee and I own a house, and ALL of our stuff is here. Our attic is packed, our basement has several shelving units crammed with crap and we have bookcases in our living room and bedroom filled with books we never have and may never read. I really thought we paired down before moving in here 1.5 years ago. But there is still so much stuff.
I decided, that along with maintaining a robust decluttering habit I also needed to stem the flow of items into our home... Especially those items we have to need or desire for.
Hence this post, where I asked people to stop giving me gifts. I caused quite a stir but this past Christmas I received very few gifts.
My mother gave us a roller derby themed shower curtain, which has brightened up our tiny bathroom a lot. She said she bought it before she knew I was serious about not wanting gifts. Then she gave me two tins containing homemade vegan treats! I was BEYOND astonished! So delicious, so thoughtful! And then she told me that if I give the tins back to her before the next gift giving occasion I can get more yummy stuff :)
My sister called me at one point before Christmas and asked me if she was allowed to get me a Christmas gift. I told her that she may do as she pleases. But warned her that if the gift does not fit with my lifestyle I may not own it for very long. I know she was excited about the toys she got me, but one has yet to find any use, and the other has spent most of it's time at my friend's house (because she thought it was AWESOME.)
And now I'm back where I started before my initial post about no gifts. I haven't been able to fully part with either of the gifts my sister gave me... not because I find them useful or because I love them... but because my sister, my one and only sister, gave them to me. It's not that I think she would be upset about me getting rid of them, I don't think she would even know about it. But when I look at the items, I think of her, and so they stay. This is crazy, because I have framed pictures of her that I can look at, and she only lives 15 minuets away! So I could just look at the real her... This is why I need to continue on this path... My things still own me in a way that makes me very uncomfortable.
My dad gave me nothing. Sometimes he really gets me.
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Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be halfway through my fourth decade on this planet. Wow... That's a lot of time.
I don't really remember many of the gifts I have received for my birthdays through the years. I do remember an ex taking me to an indoor amusement park on my birthday (winter birthdays generally mean you can't do that sort of thing.) I remember being really little and getting my first cabbage patch doll, and matching pajamas (though I think I remember it mostly because I wet the bed and couldn't sleep in my new PJs.) I remember my first sleepover party when I turned13. I remember driving my family to dinner on my 16th birthday party. I remember my family taking me to Applebees for my 21st birthday, where I ordered some type of cocktail. I remember my 31st birthday party where my friends threw an awesome party and I drank far too much... I still have the TMNT snuggie I got that day. I remember the party I planned for my 33rd birthday that never happened because of a massive snow storm... I was left with a giant vegan cookie cake all to myself... both sad and awesome.
The theme here is when I try really hard to remember my birthdays is that I remember the things I did more than the things I received.
That's why I really want to say, again, that I don't want any gifts. I just want time... Time with my friends, family and me.
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