Ti's behavior caused an early fear of cats in me. Fortunately, many of my friends had wonderful loving kitties (I'm looking at you Superman and Nitwit) and by the time I graduated from college, I was ready to possess my own tiny, furry orphans.
Leeloo and Chance... Sister and Brother... One loud and demanding, the other quiet and observant... Both wonderful and loving. They were strays, 10 months old (ish) and emaciated. But they were cute and furry... so I was SOLD! Into my life they tumbled.
Having never owned cats, I had no idea what I was doing. However, after recently earning a degree in physics, I concluded that I was capable of figuring them out... without bothering with books or any of that learning-the-easy-way crap. Once I learned to keep the toilet paper, cords, food and glasses of pigmented beverages out of the way, I thought I was doing alright.
And then it all started to fall apart.
Chance "decided" (a word chosen from my erroneous perspective) to start urinating on piles of my laundry, then on the carpet, then on my couch, then... finally... on my bed... while I was laying in it!
I was furious.
People counseled me to get rid of him... but he is just too damn cute!
To make a long story short, Chance continued to urinate on everything but his litter. After months of retraining I now have a cat who waits till I get home, or comes to get me when he needs to use the box, because he wants his treat after doing the deed. Which is great. Except when we aren't home.
After a lovely weekend away in roller derby heaven we returned to a guest bed saturated in cat urine.
This is the second time this has happened.
This is also the bed we are hoping our future child will sleep in.
...
I fell apart. The weekend was a lovely escape. A distraction from my emotions. And now it was all back... I could pretend I was doing better, but really I was just running from the hurt.
I'm better now. I know Chance doesn't hate the idea of us adopting... I know he has issues with change, and he will adapt. I know he thinks piles of unused bedding are a good alternative to the litter box. I know it was just a coincidence that all this happened in the same week. I know this...
But I still feel rotten.
Rotten. Scared. Denied. Heartbroken. Lonely. Confused.
And I know I am coming to terms with it all. And I know it may (probably will) happen again. I know I'll be stronger the next time. I just hope "stronger" doesn't become "apathetic."
i can't ever EVAR envision you as apathetic. please don't worry there.
ReplyDeleteIt is so difficult when cats (or any pets) misbehave, because you're never sure how much they understand, or what they mean, or whether they're being willfully destructive or just following a habit...
ReplyDeleteOur little cat had accidents around the basement (we were lucky in that it was just the basement) because she was having kidney problems. Even after we got her antibiotics and she was fine, she continued to pee outside of the box. The vet said that she likely associated the litter box with pain, even though she wasn't in pain anymore, and so avoided it. She did continue to use it for poop, though. Luckily. But, basically, I spent the rest of her life cleaning up pee because she couldn't get past her experience.
I wonder if, along with re-retraining, Chance would benefit from a litter alternative that he doesn't associate with his blockage, like shredded paper or scraps of carpet or something? Your vet, or a (good) pet store might have ideas, too.
That's the practical stuff. As to feelings: you have ever right to feel every way that you are feeling. Chance certainly isn't sabotaging your fostering plans, but it makes perfect sense to see everything as an omen against your dreams. You just have to try to be patient and understand that he's probably as confused as you are upset, and he might have been reacting to the grief in the house -and to being alone for the weekend. Not that you shouldn't be able to go away! Cats are just more complicated than we think. As I'm sure you know.
I'm sorry this is rambling. It's important for Chance that you try to help him find appropriate places to eliminate, which may mean cordoning him off from rooms and not leaving anything out and about that might tempt him. He will be happier, you will be happier, and the house will start to sort itself out. I know you are incredibly strong, and you and Shockin' can provide a great home for children, as well as cats. It just takes patience, and teamwork.
Hearts, guys.