"That is just THE WORST!"

You're sharing an experience at the grocery store with a friend: "They just didn't have enough lines open for a Sunday afternoon. So I picked one, and before I knew it I was locked in with two carts behind me. Of course the elderly man in front of me had to be extra chatty with the clerk. One of the items wouldn't scan and I heard the clerk say those dreaded words, "Sorry it's my first day, let me call a manager." So I wait. I looked behind me, hoping I could go find another lane, no luck. Finally the manager comes over, fixes the problem and just when I thought I could get out of there the old man takes out his wallet and is $10 short! So he's going through the bags trying to figure out what to put back. The lane next to us opens up, and the person lined up behind the person behind me swiftly moves over. Uhg, it's so unfair. So I wait. Finally that old guy removes enough crap to get out of my way! It was just so irritating! Some people should just stay home!"

To which your friend comments, "UHG! That is just the worst!!"

Or, You're telling a story about that time you hit a turkey with your car causing thousands of dollars of damage and covering everything in turkey guts... That is just the worst!

Or maybe it was when the city double charged you for your property taxes because of a paperwork error and you spent five months and dozens of aggravating phone calls moving up high enough in the bureaucracy to get your money back... That is just the worst!

Or maybe it's what happened to me today?

I've been getting phone calls meant for another person who also belongs to my gym. Apparently she isn't paying her bill and for some reason my phone number is in her file. Now collections companies are calling me too. I finally decided to call the head office and try to get this fixed. I was on the phone for maybe 10 minutes when they finally found the woman's file and told me they were going to work on removing my phone number from her contact info. I wasn't even complaining, and the woman who was helping me said, "I'm so sorry, this is just the worst!"

I had no idea what to say.

This morning I woke up to learn that my first pregnancy was ending.

...

My wife and started a couple years ago to try and adopt. But after so many disappointing situations (the first of which prompted me to start this blog) we decided to try another avenue. My fear of pregnancy and its countless complications is what steered us towards adoption in the first place. I'm 35 now, and I know this is the turning point for fertility, so I decided to put my courage where my fear was and see if I can do this.

Last month we went to a fertility doctor, bought blue eyed sperm and let a kind and overly optimistic doctor inseminate me. Last week we found out I was pregnant. And a couple days ago I started bleeding.

So, today, hearing someone tell me that a few short, polite phone calls is, "the worst" just made me stop.

That phrase has bothered me for a long time. Usually when someone says it to me I respond with, "No, genocide is the worst."

When I was in sixth grade the book Number the Stars opened my eyes. Then two years later the Rwandan Genocide terrified me as I came to grips with the fact that genocide is alive and well in my world. I guess that's why, in my book anyway, genocide is ACTUALLY "the worst."

I have friends who have tried for years to get pregnant. Some had to go through really invasive procedures to make it work. And for some it never worked.

http://weburbanist.com/2011/10/16/image-nation-50-nifty-forced-perspective-photographs/

I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that perspective is important. I'm really sad now. I feel empty. I feel lonelier today, than I felt yesterday.

But I know some very important things:
- I am safe.
- My family is safe.
- It's possible for me to become pregnant.
- I am loved.

This is not the worst.